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Reality Fiction - Vulnerable Girls - Capping

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 11:53 am
by JeremyBenson
Hello,

I've decided to write a fictitious piece on the crime of capping, where vulnerable young woman are targeted on-line by cappers. I'm having a bit of a problem with my exposition. Could anyone take a look at my plot skeleton and help me with it. It's good, but feel it's too plane. Tell me how it could be strengthened and made more interesting.

Skeleton Plot
* Hunter goes on-line to read comments about his work. Based on the comments he decides to scrap his script thus far.
* His sister ditches supper and goes out with Isaac, a young man that looks a bit rough. Hangs out with some party types.
* On the way to school with Sarah, Hunter sees a pretty girl. She's 18, a bit damaged. Slightly risqué, but still normal.
* Through the hall Hunter sees his ex-girlfriend flirting with a few boys. He can't believe he used to date her. Sarah notes her "obvious" changes.
* There is a lecture in school where the teacher gives a grandeur life speech, saying "You never know what the people around you are going through." Also
"What draws us together?" After a moments pause the teacher says "Real life! Why?! Because sometimes Life's Better!"
* Hunter is now inspired to go on-line and seek out something true to life to write about. He does this in computer training class.
- During his on-line searching he stumbles across the girl's profile (The girl he saw on the way to school). She is being bothered by a user. Hunter searches the
user.
* At home Hunter gets to talk to the girl on the internet.
- and finds the user that was bothering her is connected to a cappers ring in the community
* The police may get involved, as the girl is deciding to fight back.
* People are giving the girl a hard time in school. She is getting depressed. She may be suicidal.
* The ring wants to snuff out the girl for her retaliating through the law.
* Hunter needs to save the girl from being murdered.
* Hunter gets inspired to write a true script. Life's Better.
* Likely he gets the girl at the end.