I've made this the featured post on our home page.

And we're waiting for your "confession", Chris.......!

I have some kid memories of religion. My brother would tell me that behind a red velvet curtain at the church we attended was the devil. This was scary but also thrilling. I liked a comic book character at the time called Hot Stuff. The devil had a definite shape and character for me, unlike God, whom I didn't picture as anything. I don't remember anything else about church except my father always winding his watch and my mother telling him to stop.

I'd go to Sunday School when I hadn't conveniently disappeared into the woods. Once I recall a substitute telling us how we could show daily appreciation for God. Say we were told by the teacher to go up to the blackboard and do a math problem. If we did it right, on our way back to our seat we could say to ourselves, "Why, thank you, God." It wasn't long after this that I had to go to the board at school, and unfortunately I screwed up the problem so that the teacher in exasperation had to tell me to sit down. What had gone wrong there? Why had God decided to desert my brain?

At night, if I remembered that I'd gotten into bed without saying my rote prayer, I'd roll out, kneel by my bed and quickly mumble it and get back in. No sense in taking chances.

The 60s, 70s and even part of the 80s were maybe the most secular period in our history. I don't recall ever thinking about religion during this time. It didn't seem that the topic came up in the media very much, either, so for me it was out of mind. I had "joined" a Congregational church in Guilford, Conn. in about '64, but then my family moved and we never got involved in another church. I can only recall a couple of times setting foot in a church for the next 25 years.

The next part is familiar to some parents. We had a daughter a bit late in life. She began to have some questions about God. Though I wasn't at all sure that I had turned out well, it didn't seem that I could place much blame on the mild religion of my parents. Not wanting to experiment, and wanting Laura to be able to explore a bit, I signed us on at a Presbyterian Church. I thought, naively, I could just kind of talk about religion without being expected to believe anything in particular. This worked for a while, and it was kind of nice to meet people in the town we were still new to. But before long I was asked to participate in things such as the board of deacons and the youth group and began to experience a lot of conflict. I was amazed to realize that so much of Christianity rests on events that were supposed to have happened. What a flimsy basis for any faith, that such-and-such merely happened. Isn't there anything greater that can be said for the religion? When we'd have to rise for the Apostles' Creed, I'd always involuntarily think of "Apollo Creed" and once asked my wife if Sylvester Stallone might have gotten the name of his nemesis in "Rocky" from that. I think she poked me. The creed was the most absurd part of the service (other parts I rather liked). Since after a while I didn't even bother to mumble the words of the creed, but just stood there silently, I knew it would be time to go soon. But it took me almost 8 years to extricate myself.

After that I tried the Unitarians, but that didn't work out either, for reasons I won't bore anybody with.

For President Comacho:

Was it perhaps Psalm 83?

Psalm 83
1 Keep not thou silence, O God: hold not thy peace, and be not still, O God.

2 For, lo, thine enemies make a tumult: and they that hate thee have lifted up the head.

3 They have taken crafty counsel against thy people, and consulted against thy hidden ones.

4 They have said, Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation; that the name of Israel may be no more in remembrance.

5 For they have consulted together with one consent: they are confederate against thee:

6 The tabernacles of Edom, and the Ishmaelites; of Moab, and the Hagarenes;

7 Gebal, and Ammon, and Amalek; the Philistines with the inhabitants of Tyre;

8 Assur also is joined with them: they have holpen the children of Lot. Selah.

9 Do unto them as unto the Midianites; as to Sisera, as to Jabin, at the brook of Kison:

10 Which perished at Endor: they became as dung for the earth.

11 Make their nobles like Oreb, and like Zeeb: yea, all their princes as Zebah, and as Zalmunna:

12 Who said, Let us take to ourselves the houses of God in possession.

13 O my God, make them like a wheel; as the stubble before the wind.

14 As the fire burneth a wood, and as the flame setteth the mountains on fire;

15 So persecute them with thy tempest, and make them afraid with thy storm.

16 Fill their faces with shame; that they may seek thy name, O LORD.

17 Let them be confounded and troubled for ever; yea, let them be put to shame, and perish:

18 That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth.

Were your visitors Jehovah's Witnesses?

I would have remembered key words like dung. I don't think this is the one. It's similar but the one he read me wasn't as dark. To tell you the truth I'm not sure what they were. I just assumed they were christian.

President Camacho wrote:I would have remembered key words like dung. I don't think this is the one. It's similar but the one he read me wasn't as dark. To tell you the truth I'm not sure what they were. I just assumed they were christian.

Most Christian denominations are too lazy or too chicken to go door to door these days. The Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses do it because their salvation is tied directly to it. They really don't give a hoot about you. In fact, you would be in competition with the JW's if you convert because there are a limited number of spots.

Evangelicals will come around but you can tell them because it is very unlikely that they will carry a Bible and they will not tell you about Hell, instead they will ask you two quesitons:

If you died today do know for sure that you would go to Heaven?

Suppose you did die today, and found yourself standing before God and He asked you, "Why should I let you into My Heaven;" what would you say?

Competing for a limited number of spots in heaven. Wow. That's motivation!

I'll ask next time someone comes around. I get them every couple of months.

If you died today do know for sure that you would go to Heaven?

Yes, I paid my church a deposit a few years back for entry into heaven. They handed around a dish for it.

Suppose you did die today, and found yourself standing before God and He asked you, "Why should I let you into My Heaven;" what would you say?

Fine, send me to hell you prick, you already know any answer I'd give.

President Camacho wrote:Competing for a limited number of spots in heaven. Wow. That's motivation!

I'll ask next time someone comes around. I get them every couple of months.

We used to live near a Kingdom Hall and had them come by every other week.

They believe that only 144,000 will be allowed in 'heaven' and that admission is based on merit, which is why they are talking to you. They really don't want you to be 'saved' but they have to go door to door as one of their works.

Let me clear up one thing though. It might occur to you that Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormon's are just another denomination and their reading of the Bible is just as legitimate as Methodist, or Baptists and you would be correct except for one thing. The Jehovah's Witnesses came up with a whole new translation of the Bible called the New World Translation. It radically altered not just the text but the meaning of key verses and left others out. One major change they made was to John 1. They added the word 'a'.

The normally accepted translation of John 1:1 is;

"In the beginning was the Word and the word was with God and the Word was God."
KJV

The Jehovah's Witness New World Translation reads:
"1 In [the] beginning the Word was, and the Word was with God, and the Word was a god."

The Mormons also have a different book than the Bible, they use the Book of Mormon. Their different than Christians in that if you are a really good Mormon, including being baptized a bunch of times for dead relatives (that's why they have that genealogy bank), one day you may get your own planet to rule. So you would no longer be President Comacho you'd be God Comacho. I wouldn't get my hopes up.

I was brought up very sporadically religious so I didn't have a big revelation about not believing. When I was little I was raised Catholic, and I was told gems like "Every bad thing that happens to you is punishment for your sins". When I was nine we moved away and my mom started raising me (weird, right?) and she was very casual. She believed in God, but she also believed in me making up my own mind on everything. I didn't really think about it very much, but as I grew older, I realized a lot of things didn't line up with the religious background that I had - like I didn't understand how an all-forgiving kind God would boot Adam and Eve out of the garden for eating an apple.

Regardless of the validity of my wonderings, I just started looking very critically at the idea of religion. Nothing converted me one way or the other, I just looked at the evidence and stories and made up my own mind. I had a bit of a spiritual phase, believing in reincarnation and the whole concept of everything that happens occurs so that we may learn and grow from it. That ended at about 15 when I decided I saw no compelling evidence to believe in anything, and determined (from looking at the dictionary) that I was an atheist.

I never really think of it as a big deal. Just when people start to argue with me I get really irritated. What a pointless thing to argue about, when no one can ever truly know one way or the other. Maybe we should spend our time on things that actually make a difference.