Liam is a cool name, and while I don't know much about babies I hear that big is good... maybe less so for the mom though.Anyway congrats again!Later Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,shouting..."Holy Crap...what a ride!"

I really don't know how to write this message, because I wouldn't normally share something like this on an online forum. But I feel like I need to explain my inability to attend the chat on the 27th, as I was the one responsible for initiating and scheduling it. And rather than just telling you that there was a death in the family and the memorial service will be held on the 27th, making it impossible for me to attend, I thought I owed it to my cousin to do it right.

After a four year battle with breast cancer my very dear cousin, Stacy, died. She was 35-years-old and left behind a totally devoted and enamored husband; two gorgeous, joyful children; her parents and a sister. Stacy was the eldest of all the cousins, and she was, by far, the best among us. She was truly cherished by us all. She lived a stunning, beautiful life despite all the ugliness, and hardship, cancer forced on it in her final years.

As I said, I would not normally share this with people on a forum, despite how I've grown to know some of the people here. Part of that is because I think the internet, as a medium, almost precludes us from connecting with each other on the intimate level necessary for us to genuinely share such sorrowful moments in our lives. Sharing this almost seems as though it serves no purpose other than to make those reading it feel badly. But, if you wish, there is one thing you could do that would serve to commiserate with my cousin and all of our family.

Stacy kept an online journal to update her family and friends about her condition and treatment. In her first entry, the week following her initial diagnosis in 2003, she wrote the following:

I am very positive that I will overcome this challenge. I ask to be looked upon as a person who is vibrant and full of life. I am still the loving and caring yet strong and determined person who many of you know.

She lived all the following years accordingly. Trips to the city for chemo and other treatments were opportunities to visit with family and friends who lived in the area, or to attend afternoon concerts on the University campuses near the hospital. At times when I couldn't imagine how she got out of bed over this summer and fall, Stacy was taking family trips, squeezing one more non-medical memory into their lives. She yearned for just an ordinary life, and insisted on having one

Rose. I am so sorry for your loss and my best possible wishes are with you and your family. Never feel that you cannot share with me anything in life that you need to share. I understand how the net can seem to be very impersonal, but I do try to develop relatioships on these forums with people and I for one feel they are good relatioships despite the fact that I never saw one of you. This is why I usually do not hide who I am (within the means of safety of my family and myself) and try to add personal touches and glimpses into my life when I can.

I hope you and you family find a way through this that can mimic even a small portion the courage and good grace that your cousin Stacy showed through her ordeal. I am always one to not get depressed and emotional at the loss of a loved one, rather I take it as a chance to remember everything good about the person and what they brought to the lives of their families. That is what I would want when I go...a big party where everyone is laughing and remembering the good.

I wish you the best. Do not even concern yourself about the chat. I think we should probably re-schedule it because you need to be there!

Happy Holidays!

Nick

Irishrose:

I'm sorry about your loss. I will be thinking about you and your family.

Irishrose, I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin. I will keep your family in my thoughts and hope you are able to find peace. It sounds like your cousin did indeed live an extraodinary life and it is very inspiring to hear about her courageous fight.