Chris OConnor wrote:Thanks guys. I am on my laptop sitting next to my father in hospice. He has been totally nonresponsive for 3 full days. This is so hard.

There are no good words for such times, Chris, except to send my best wishes to you and your family. You're in my thoughts.

George

Hang in there Chris. All the best to you and your family.

Jan.

Chris,

George is on to something when he says there simply are no good words for moments like these. I can share that I, too, sat with my father in hospice facing fatal cancer of the throat, tounge and mouth...at a VA facility as well. We agreed to pursue an aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatment...knowing that we had really very little hope for defeating the cancer. But Dad felt any trace of hope was worth the effort. Looking back now, I think the radiation and chemo were more harful than good...perhaps it prolonged his life a short bit- but the quality of existence for him was meager at best.

In another post you mention "thinking out of the box" and I encourage you to do the same right there in that room. Allow yourself to explore multiple lenses for understanding the situation and finding meaning in the process. It may sound crude to the extreme, but I found genuine joy in experimenting with my own belief system regarding Dad's past, present and future...my own...our family...the human race...all of existence: I discovered fears, prejudices, blind spots I was really unaware of. Dad's misery, my angst, the indifference of a maniacal world, promises from far off stories, genuine affection and care from people who loved him and myself...great fodder for making sense of life's meaning and my role within it.

There are treasures in that mud you will not become aware of for some time in the future: remain open to the possibilities.

And, receive all advice with a generous grain of salt.

Shannon

DissidentHeart -

Helpful, Heartening Post......

Horrid avatar....

Penelope wrote:DissidentHeart -

Helpful, Heartening Post......

Horrid avatar....

Is'nt his avatar Ghandi, MLK & Jesus? While I could do without the religious context, and the mythical being that is Jesus...I would not call it horrid.

Now...You COULD call mine horrid! (Not yelling)..


Mr. P.

Without my glasses - it looked like Ben Kingsley, Mel Gibson and Danny Da Vito - in a fog!!

Sorry - I wuz only kidding....being provocative.

My father died around 2:30 am on February 14th. Three days had gone by with him being completely nonresponsive so his passing happened while he was in a deep coma-like sleep. He and I were best friends and this has been really tough on me. Thank you for the warm comments. I'm just not able to say much more about this right now.

Penelope wrote:Without my glasses - it looked like Ben Kingsley, Mel Gibson and Danny Da Vito - in a fog!!

Sorry - I wuz only kidding....being provocative.

Very funny!

Chris OConnor wrote:My father died around 2:30 am on February 14th. Three days had gone by with him being completely nonresponsive so his passing happened while he was in a deep coma-like sleep. He and I were best friends and this has been really tough on me. Thank you for the warm comments. I'm just not able to say much more about this right now.

So sorry to hear this Chris. My best wishes are all I can give.

Hi Chris,

My condolences. Take care, Jan.