So I'm sleeping in bed with my dachsund, Miller, this morning when I hear the doorbell ring. I thought it might be a book I was expecting to be delivered. So I hurry and get dressed while Miller is barking at the door. I look through the peephole and no one is there. I stepped outside to see if there was a package left in the bushes when Miller slips past me and runs around to the neighbor's door. I chased after him and there he is yipping and wagging his tail at a man in a suit. So I apologize and pick Miller up. Then the man shows me a brochure with Mary on the cover and goes into his whole Jehovah's Witness sales pitch. Now I'm trapped because he doesn't even breath between sentences. I let him do his whole thing about hope for the hard times we live in. I do consider myself an atheist, but I'm just not up to debating anyone before my first cup of coffee. Ironically I often use God and Jesus Christ to swear and alot of that was streaming through my head. Meanwhile my faithful dog has just warmed up to this guy and loving all his attention. This is kinda strange since most of the time he's very protective. So now we get into a conversation about dachsunds before getting right back to "hope." Note no mention of God, Jesus, or faith. Probably to seem less threatening. (Shouldn't that say something already?) After a few minutes Miller is just all about this guy like he was Cesar Milan and I didn't exist anymore. By the time we got back in the house I was giving that dog the stank-eye. I always thought if one of those guys could assure me I could spend eternity with my dog, I *MIGHT* consider believing in Heaven. Not so much anymore.

I'm amazed you listened to the guy for so long!

I get in a bad mood if anybody bothers me with talk at home or on the phone to sell me something and I have perfected a good system : slam the door in their faces.
If it's on the phone I lie through my teeth. A seller once asked me if I had a computer. I sweetly said tnat i didn't. She asked whether I was sure I didn't have an internet connection-- No again. And strangely enough,that seemed to be such an incredible confession that it shut her up. (Yet a few days later she was back, asking if I had a TV set).

I'ver never encountered a Jeovah's witness though.

And I sympathize with your story, the way it all happened, you were not in the best position to get rid of the guy!

This is pricesless, I so enjoyed this story. I am smiling from ear to ear. For one, I have the Jehovah's knocking at my door (religiously), and two, I have 2 evil mini doxies of my own. I could just imagine myself in this same position, as I cannot function without java.

Thanks for posting it gave me a great chuckle.

D:
I'd have been giving my dog the evil eye, too.
Though, I don't have a dog. But I'll remember this story in the future when I manage to get a dog of my own.
And yes, kudos on listening to the guy for as long as you did! I probably would have cut him off in the middle with "I'm sorry! I gotta go! There's this thing with a knife and a kitchen and ten thousand gallons of shaving cream. Okay! THANKSBYE!"

That is such a funny story, Trish! Cesar Millan Rules!

Yeah, though I love my dog, I do wonder at times whether the best friend thing is a one-way street. A couple of people were talking about dogs on NPR the other day. The woman asked the question, "If I died would my dog eat me?" Seemed she had an experience where she had a suppurating wound on her arm and had fallen asleep, only to awake to find her dog nibbling on the wound. Made her wonder. "Wouldn't my dog mourn over me if I died?" she asked. The other guy said vaguely, "Well, maybe dogs mourn differently than we do."

I think that dogs mourn and that they would mourn the loss of a special human. I have heard many stories about dogs that apparently showed signs of mourning. The open wound thing is a little worrisome! I had a dog that would often lick at my cuts. I have heard that their saliva has some kind of antiseptic or antibiotic in it. I just assumed that she licked my wounds for the same reason she licked her own--to clean me up! However, DWill mentions "nibbling"--I know that's not quite the same thing as licking!

Ophelia wrote:I've never encountered a Jehovah's Witness though.

Ophelia, Jehovah's Witnesses are aggressive American religious door-to-door salesmen. They can be recognized at a distance by their neat style of dress. Asking them not to return is of no effect. I have dealt with hundreds.

My mother would be angry for the rest of the day when she encountered one, so I took responsibility for getting rid of them.

Once I looked out the window, and my mother was coming around the house one way and four Jehovah's Witnesses were coming around the other. I stuck my head out the window and shouted "Run! Mamma Run! Here come the Jehovah's Witnesses!" She wheeled around in the opposite direction, and the Jehovah's Witnesses laughed nervously. One said, "She doesn't like Witnesses." "That's right," I said.

I'm not sure how the door to door peddling is supposed to be productive for them. Their religious practices are a hard enough sell. I worked with a JW girl once and the office suprised her on her birthday with a small cake. She just muttered "thanks" and would barely look at it let alone eat it. That's just one joyless aspect of their beliefs. Can't celebrate anything. Then there's the whole blood transfusion and medical intervention thing too which can lead to needless death. I hope my dog takes note of this. No more Snausages for being a good boy although he probably wouldn't mind not going to the vet anymore.

Trish wrote:I worked with a JW girl once and the office suprised her on her birthday with a small cake. She just muttered "thanks" and would barely look at it let alone eat it. That's just one joyless aspect of their beliefs. Can't celebrate anything.

Trish, the Jehovah's Witnesses are a pernicious mind-control cult. The girl you mentioned is to be pitied. The footsoldiers have no idea of what the higher-ups do or the history of the organization. Scandal within the group (sexual and financial exploitation) is concealed. Anyone who leaves is punished by shunning:

"Could you discuss your experience with Jehovah Witness and its affect on you?
My mother started studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses in England when I was seven years old , so it was pretty much all I knew of religion for many years. I believed what I was taught because children tend to believe adults. Finally, though, I came to recognize the hypocrisy that I believe exists in the organization, and left it after twenty-seven years. How has it affected me? Having grown up hearing that at some point I would be persecuted and probably thrown into prison and tortured for my faith, I was always a little bit fearful and depressed. We were taught to stay separate from the world (non JWs) and not to set "worldly" or "materialistic" goals, only spiritual ones, which means that higher education is frowned on. It wasn't until twenty years after leaving the organization that I got my degree in psychology."
http://www.frontstreetreviews.com/Sheila%20Lowe.html

The Story of Sheila Lowe
http://www.exjws.net/pioneers/sheilalowe.htm