Congrats John! Give us the hook, the first sentence. Ranger Shadow Fletcher normally enjoyed watching well-built women as they jogged or ran, even when they were sweaty and their hair in disarray. But as he watched this woman through the glass doors of the Breaks Interstate Park Visitor Center, he ...

My latest novel, Wendigo, has just come out. When a young girl goes missing in the state park billed as "The Grand Canyon of the South," everyone assumes she's merely lost. Everyone but Shadow Fletcher, that is. He's a one-handed, ex-marine, Native American park ranger who senses a cold, a...

Last month I was asked to talk to elementary students about my historical slavery novel at a local museum. To enable those students who might want to read the book, I made both the juvenile and adult versions of this particular slave's story available free on kindle. I was hoping for a couple of rev...

Justin, It's an interesting story and not bad for a rough draft. I have some suggestions for your writing, which is about typical for beginner. I would suggest perhaps a community college writing course, joining a critique group, of putting a chapter up on a writers forum rather than a readers forum...

Post a little of it here, please Justin. I do my forum browsing during lunch at my workplace and the computer here bans blog sites. I'd be glad to give it a critique, either publicly on the forum or by private mail, if you prefer.

What good is a paid-for review?

Hi, I suggest you have a look at feedaread (http://www.feedaread.com) which focuses on independent authors. You have to produce the input yourself (as a pdf) but you then only have to pay a price per copy rather than any set up costs. I'm currently using them for my daughter's novel - I haven't got...

My first s/f novel was published in 2006 by http://www.samsdotpublishing.com. They don't pay advances and they don't do much promotion, but I highly recommend them as a reputable, easy-to-get-along with outfit. There are several other indie publishers for s/f, try googling and go to http://www.ralan...

I highly recommend the Dragonriders of Pern series; each book takes the imaginary world to a new level of sophistication in the world-building that Anne McCaffrey accomplished. One of my all time favorites.

JohnB

Dawn, I think your writing is fine, overall, and it's a good start. You've built your characters well and your dialogue is natural. I noticed a few small things that stood out, such as she scoops up a frog at the front door, then it says that frogs have been hard to find. When she counts to $18.52, ...