Mr. Pessimistic asked:
I would like to give my answer to Mr. Pessimistic's
really good question. I think it's important to try to answer it.
I do not want to beat the crap out of those people because, first and foremost, I think if I tried to, they would win and I would really get hurt. This is not just silly. It's about power and privilege, what kinds there are, who has them, how we can best use ours, and why or why not we choose to do so. We live in an oppressive society that uses all kinds of -isms, the one starting with "race" being only one of them. It is very much in my interest as a completely worthless fighter with delicate little hands to want a civil society where I won't break their bones while slightly annoying someone tougher with an inexpertly delivered punch. Now on the other hand, I
do seem to be somewhat smarter than these people, or perhaps just more educationally privileged. If I can trick them into letting me educate their children and employ strategies like that, maybe even speak to them, at first listening compassionately, then carefully steering them toward tolerance, honest introspection in a safe environment, model owning my own deficiencies and working on them, maybe they will feel less threatened than when a camera is in their face and someone is asking them in front of the nation to justify their racism.
I admit I have sometimes felt tempted to encourage people like you, Mr. P. to do the beating the crap out of people for me, but I've found it doesn't pay. There comes a time when you are going to be mad at me and how
I think and what will I do then? You might also think I owe you something, like someone running a protection racket, and in any case, I will feel responsible if you hurt someone and I have been complicit. (I know you probably aren't actually planning to hurt anyone and you just said "want to," which is different, but I'm making a point, I hope.)
But most important in this whole issue is whether or not we are willing to walk our talk in teaching and learning tolerance. If I want people to learn to be civil with others who are now outside their comfort zone, I need to be willing to relate outside my comfort zone, to engage people gently and kindly about the ugly -isms that we
all grow up with. We know what chicken and watermelon and ribs and koolaid on the Obama dollar are about. We can't pretend not to belong to this society. Having Mexican relatives (video woman) or Indian relatives (me) does not exempt us from the capacity for internalized or other-group focused oppressiveness. In a racist society, anti-oppression is an ongoing learning project for everyone.
I have to try to come from a place where I realize, authentically, that I am not better than those people denying they are racist, or Mr. P. for that matter. I have some strengths, and so do they. I have some vulnerabilities and so do they. I am sure you didn't mean for me to take this this seriously. My daughter really thinks I'm a drag when I do this kind of thing. Sorry if you share that view. I just really don't want to live in a place that's any more violent than it has to be and I want people to feel safe to be honest, to differ, to grow. Does that make sense, Mr. P.?
"Where can I find a man who has forgotten the words so that I can talk with him?"
-- Chuang-Tzu (c. 200 B.C.E.)
as quoted by Robert A. Burton