Concerning Chris O'Connor...

[Chris OConnor]

Lately I've been distant. And I'm not sure if I should share the reason why or not, but here goes nothing. My father has terminal lung cancer and doesn't have a whole lot longer to live. There, I said it. Usually I keep personal stuff like that private, but some sort of answer seems appropriate. I don't want it seeming like I am just not interested in BookTalk or what people have to say. This is far from the truth. I'm just overwhelmed as I'm his primary caregiver.The problem is that my father has participated on BookTalk in the past. So sharing information about his cancer is not something I have thought of as pleasant or wise. He could actually read my words. And I don't want to bring him any pain or sadness. But we have an extremely close relationship and his situation is something he understands. Still, talking about your terminally ill father while he is still alive feels weird.

[Mr. P]

Chris. I wish you the best. I hope this hard time goes as well as one can possibly hope for you and your family. But atheism is no more a religion than not playing chess is a hobby. - Robert Sawyer - Sci Fi AuthorI'm not saying it's usual for people to do those things but I(with the permission of God) have raised a dog from the dead and healed many people from all sorts of ailments. - Asana Boditharta (former booktalk troll)"The Sentient may percieve and love the universe, but the universe cannot percieve and love the sentient. The universe sees no distinction between the multitude of creatures and elements which comprise it. All are equal. None is favored...It cannot control what it creates and it cannot, it seems, be controlled by its creations (though a few might decieve themselves otherwise). Those who curse the workings of the universe curse that which is deaf. Those who strike out at those workings fight that which is inviolate. Those who shake their fists, shake their fists at blind stars." - Michael Moorcock in the "Queen of the Swords"

[Chris OConnor]

Thanks Nick. It is really rough right now.

[Frank 013]

Chris, Happy 39th! Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,shouting..."Holy Crap...what a ride!"

[Chris OConnor]

Thanks Frank! I just got in from a surprise birthday party that Tina put together. Greg never let on so I was shocked to see him there. My brother and Angela and everyone were there. We did dinner and then the martini bar. Wish you were there. Talk to you soon. And Happy Birthday to you too!

[Frank 013]

I even knew about the surprise party (and I am in New York) I am glad you had a good time! Later Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,shouting..."Holy Crap...what a ride!"

[Chris OConnor]

Yesterday was a bad day...

I was a witness to a horrible accident yesterday and I just can't get it out of my head. A 14 year old boy was riding his bicycle and was hit hard by the car directly next to me.

Other than the actual driver of the car I was the first on the scene. The specifics are rather gruesome and probably unnecessary. It was a nasty accident and I am not convinced this kid is still alive. In fact I highly doubt he could survive those injuries.

The part that has me freaked out the worse is how helpless I felt. I am trained in first aid and CPR, but his injuries were to his head and so extensive that I didn't have a clue what I could do to help him. His actual skull was broken severely. I believe it was pushed into his brain. He was breathing, but totally unconscious as blood poured from his head. I'd say a half gallon or more.

They landed a helicopter and took him away immediately. The investigator told me they had him in surgery as we were talking, but he gave no indication whether or not they believed he would survive. My car was trapped inside the yellow crime scene tape for several hours while I stood and did my best to comfort the man that was driving the vehicle that hit the child. Again, I felt totally helpless. This guy was traumatized. Who wouldn't be? He told me this was one of those fears he always had in the back of his head

[MadArchitect]

That's awful, Chris. I just missed witnessing a similar accident -- a cyclist getting hit by, no joke, a dump truck. The truck was a good 50 yards from the victim, and the man's bike and shoes were strewn along the street. There wasn't as much blood as you described, but the man was obviously in a lot of pain. Just the aftermath left me shaken for quite a while. It was during rush hour traffic, and so many people had stopped that I felt that also stopping to help wouldn't do much more than add to the confusion and the number of obstacles sitting between an ambulance and the victim. This was in late September or early October of 2001 -- you know, after the terrorist attacks -- and I knew from driving past every day that there was a cop permanently stationed outside the CDC not a half-mile down the road, so after hesitating a moment to decide what was the best course of action, I drove down and informed the cop, who, thankfully, sprang into action. And that's the last I heard of the incident. I kept my ears peeled for some news of whether or not the guy survived, but there was enough "big news" going on at the time that a story about an injured cyclist didn't make waves even in the local news. Some small part of me is probably still a little unsettled over the whole thing, so I can certainly understand the gist of what you're feeling, even if the differences in details lead to some variation.

[MadArchitect]

Oh, and as to how best to figure out the boy's condition, what I'd suggest is that you call All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg, say you were the first on the scene in the accident, and that as a matter of conscience you'd like to know how Anthony Remon is doing. That's where the blog you linked to says they took him after the accident, and I feel confident that someone there would be kind enough to give you some kind of answer. That might help what you're going through. With the accident I mentioned, I never knew the victim's name or where they had taken him, so my options were much more limited. I hope someone helps you out.

[Dissident Heart]

Chris: I want to know the condition of this child, but am not sure it is my place to inquire. Maybe I should drop it. But I'd like to know, especially for the sake of the driver, that this child will eventually pull through this accident. I just don't know what to think or do.

The Hospital will probably be hesitant in sharing information with you due to what are called HIPAA patient privacy regulations. I think one avenue that could prove very frutiful is if you seek out the Hospital Chaplain (or Social Worker if they don't have Chaplains) . They will recognize both your own emotional needs as well as the rights of the patient, and they should be willing to speak with the child's parents and share your concerns with them. I think this is one way could get the parents' okay to release information to yourself regarding the child's status.

Also, the Chaplain should be equipped with offering support strictly for yourself regarding this recent terrrible incident. You have been traumatized and sustained a degree of emotional injury. She/He will not (should not) pursue any theological or religious interrogation into your beliefs: but they are trained to provide support by listening and simply being present to your needs as they arise in conversation. They spend their day working with individuals and family members who have suffered terrible events: they will understand your discomfort.

Hang in there.