Thanks for starting this thread Jan, I think I'll benefit from the discussion and hope you will too. Maybe some of those who trod the path before us may shed some light that we may gain surer footing. I'm reminded of a passage from one of my favorite poems:
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."
I have to say that I had slightly different issues to you. The main one for me was that Christianity was a part of my identity, my self-image, the lens through which I saw the world. Giving that up meant giving up part of myself. It meant that many of my past memories and ideas, previously interpreted in the light of a universe ruled over by a loving God, become meaningless.
Where do I go for guidance? I have a great admiration for the Quakers, and seek what they would call the inner light. But I couldn't become a Quaker because I don't believe that inner light is God. I also turn to the great thinkers who have come before me, both religious and non-religious. Aristotle, Aquinas, Locke, Mill, Russell, Popper, Bernard Williams among others.
Mainly I turn to the Enlightenment, where I think others first began to have similar experiences, where they first really began to think about how a world without divine intervention might work. There were precursors to this in previous ages of course, such as ancient Greece and the Renaissance but I feel the Enlightenment has had a greater and more direct influence on our present situation. I think that's why I'm so interested in the new books by Charles Taylor and A.C. Grayling because these are themes that will be explored there. I often find that when people talk about the influence Christianity has had on our culture they are really talking about the influence the Enlightenment has had on our culture, particularly through the changes it brought about within Christianity.
If I had any (tentative) advice for you Jan, it would be to avoid rushing into seeking labels for yourself. The right labels will come with time, but first you need to figure out exactly what it is that you believe. Only then will you know what label is right.
Don't rush, explore. Take your time when delving into new ideas and new ways of thinking.
Read widely! Find those who most inspire you and perhaps use them as models. I know Susan Jacoby mentions many great secular women in her book
Freethinkers and perhaps one or more of them might be appropriate.
I don't know if that helps any, but I'm still thinking about it.
Brad
